i need to cry.

it is getting to be that time of the month for me. no, not my period, the week before that, i like to call it weap week. (i know, real creative) but mearly because i simply have an overwhelming uge to cry. and over nothing most of the time i might add.

today it was because Dave didn't invite me to lunch even though i emailed him about.
also money, which, admitly no one has enough of, but it still causes me to cry. i'm not going to be able to pay off my credit card balence this month, and the interest that i'm going to accumulate because of it is going to be like 60 bucks. and i can't really ask dave for the money for stuff when he said he would pay for it, cuz he does pay all the rent and is paying so much for this trip next week. and now he is starting to worry about being able to find a job and staying in the country and is worring about money.
i keep telling him not to worry about money. that i will have it all taken care of, when in truth, i'm scared shitless. i really don't konw what we are going to do. the government thinks my parents should be able to help me out with at least 20 thousand dollars for school. umm ... no. if anything i'm getting more money from dave for school.
I'm supposed to be getting a letter from my dad's lawyer. the hope is with that i might be able to get another grant or something from the state. even food stamps would be amazingly helpful. i really don't know how much longer i can take this.
Dr. Parsei hasn't gotten back to me with my application status yet either. i don't even know if he has recieved it. he should have gotten it friday, least that is when they cashed my check. even if they say no, i need to know so that i might start planning out the rest of my life.