too much to do, none of which i want to do.

I'm helping a friend paint her house on sunday. it really isn't a big commitment. but it is still something else to put into my planner. i'm not saying i want thing for my planner, infact, it is kind of the opposite really. i have too much to do. and i know that i should be working on shcool work right now. but i just don't care enough. because i care, don't get me wrong, but i'm just not in the mood.

Over the weekend again we talked more about marrige. Imran getting himself hitched has made it a more open air topic i think.
it has kinda been decided that we will get offically engaged once he gets a post-doc and get a decent wage to be able to afford a ring. which is admitily over a year and a half away, but i can wait.

yay, it is the first day of school. :o)
and i am, in theory at least, 4/7th of the way done with college. double yay!!

I was supposed to have a program at 11:30 today. i got up early because if it. even put on some make-up. i was ready to go by 10:30 just in case they arrived really early, as they often do.
by 11:45 they hadn't shown. I called them up and asked if the person answering the phone knew if they were coming or not. she said 'no', as they apperently lost the folder that had all the dates and times of activites in it.
ARG.

I picked David up from Maryland over the weekend. I have driven over 4 thousand miles for that boy, I hope he approaches it. Anyway, we were not able to have any vacation time like last year, as we had to get back to take Imran to the airport.
But we were able to spend all of Sunday together. It was so nice. But we had to talk of the future. And Dave’s impending post-doc position in Maryland for the two years that I continue on to grad school. I’m dreading that day.
He is afraid that he is going to lose me. I keep trying to tell him that he isn’t going to happen, it simply isn’t. But I don’t think he believes me. I don’t know how else to show him that I love him. I’m still willing to run away to Vegas with him, I think he is actually thinking about it.

I have figured it out

So, I think I have finally figured out my relationships with the boys. Yes, it took me long enough, but I did it.

Zap was the perfect high school boyfriend, even though he wasn’t in band. He was into art, literature, other things I liked but wasn’t good at, was interested in me and was very supportive at the difficult time in life.

Goebel is the perfect college boyfriend. English major, scruffy hair, warm in the winter, likes to drink but not party hard, also is very supportive, my personal shrink when needed, has his own place and is more mature than high school boyfriend.

David is the perfect guy to spend the rest of my life with. He has a great British accent, knows what he wants in live, and yet is willing to help me achieve what I want, as he loves me. Due to his being the oldest, is the most mature.

So, what does all that mean? Well, considering I was too scared to not have a boyfriend my first half of college, I missed out on my real relationship with Goebel. And because by the time I figured out that Zap wasn’t the right guy for me, I had skipped over the Goebel stage of my life and moved right on to the Dave stage. If that makes any sense.
So I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do with this new found knowledge, but I have it.

a good review

So, on Friday I had to give a Planetarium show. It was a live show, which means that all the entertainment come from me standing in the back with a lazer pointer, showing stuff to the 82 people that showed up. And the reason that there were so many people, we usually have closer to half that, was all the students taking Astronomy 101 over the summer had to come to a Planetarium show and turn in an essay about it, and Friday was their last chance for a show.

Anyway, this was a essay turned in by one of the students.

On July 28, 2006, my family and I attended the Ritter Planetarium’s program entitled “The Summer Skies over Toledo.” It was a live program, narrated by an enthusiastic, female astronomy student. We arrived in the nick of time but had to sit in the nosebleed section—the front row. Nevertheless, the reclining seats were very comfy and allowed me to see the dome-like ceiling without straining my neck. I sat my seven-month old son in his carrier, directly across from us and as my eyes became dark-adapted, I noticed him twiddling his fingers and staring at the narrator as if he understood. The program was designed for a diverse audience. She discussed and defined the topics so clearly that even young children could follow along. The narrator also had an excellent sense of humor and ad libed really well.
The program was about locating stars and constellations visible currently in the Toledo skies. We watched the asterisms, The Big Dipper and Summer Triangle. We located the North Star and watched Lyra the Harp, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, and other constellations. I felt a bit smart when she asked if The North Star was the brightest and I answered “Sirius.” We saw the haze of the Milky Way. She also discussed the controversial naming of a Kuiper Belt object as Gabriel & Xena and how the astronomical association was debating what criterion a body meets before being declared a planet. At first, I assumed she was discussing Sedna when she discussed the possible 10th planet but this name was not mentioned.
Towards the end of the presentation, my son got fussy so my husband took him into the hallway. I watched the entire presentation but missed the opportunity to view Jupiter (which I now know as the largest Jovian, planet) because of my family. However, I did learn how useful and relevant astronomy is. The narrator told a short story about her soldier-friend in Iraq who’s GPS system failed when he needed to get his men back to Baghdad. He utilized his knowledge of the stars to guide his men back to the base. I also learned that the planets were named after Greek deities.
In addition, I also have a more personal reason to learn astronomy—my son. I struggled during the first weeks of this class because my mind is hard-wired to writing and public speaking; mathematics and science have always been difficult for me. I went to see Prof. McGinnis to receive tutoring and explanations of the correct quiz answers and my little son was enthralled with his demonstration of Earth orbiting while tilting on his axis. I thought to myself in this day and age where athletes and rock stars are worshipped, I want my son to have a hobby that requires brainpower. I want to sit with him, a few years from now, look up at the evening sky and be able to discuss the stars and pick out constellations. This was a great experience for my budding astronomer, Alexander and hopefully, this will not be our last planetarium visit.

Looks like she enjoyed it, yay. And except that I'm not actually a Astronomy student and "Prof. McGinnis" isn't a professor, but a whiney grad student that the department is kicking out, she knows what she is talking about.
And my boss got to see a copy of it, so that was good too.

is this my final answer?

I have decided that I’m not going to visit Goebel. He really isn’t good for me. I know, took me long enough to figure that one out huh? But now even he admits he isn’t emotionally attached or feels the same way as he did before.
I guess we are just prolonging the inevitable. Eventually we will just stop talking to each other, and that will be that. A chapter of my life will have finally come to a close.

Plus I’m jealous that he is taking another girl to a concert on Thursday and he didn’t ask me, but instead told me last time I saw him, that he was too poor to buy me a cheap bottle of wine.